Today I completed a marathon
With thousands of others out there on the run
It’s been a long time since I’ve done this
And I’ve forgotten that its so much fun

On the first mile I pondered the cosmos
How the world we live in came to be
By mile 2 I’d moved on to world peace
But realized the answer was easy

On the 3rd mile I thought about children
And how to end all injustice for them
Mile 4 brought me closer to God
Realizing everywhere I’ve seen him

At mile 5 I felt kind of funny
I had some water, ate a gel
By the time I finished the 6th mile
I was feeling much more like myself

Miles 7 through 12 flew by quickly
Solved some of life’s riddles, conquered physics
At mile 14 I figured out alien life exists
But that’s not really shocking now is it?

At mile 15 I had a breakthrough
I came up with a plan to make millions
Over the next 5 miles I brokered world peace in my head
Time to bring back all those soldiers as civilians.

By mile 21 my body rebelled on me
I realized that I needed more salt
I’d spent so much time solving the world’s problems
That the cramping was all my own fault

By mile 22 I’d made myself focus
Get back to the problems at hand
By mile 24 pretty sure I’d cured cancer
Never did that, did you Lance?

By mile 25 I could see the crowd building
People everywhere looking at me
The finish line was coming into view
I was at the end of my journey

At mile 26 my adrenaline kicked in
I picked up speed as I aimed for the finish
And in the euphoria of crossing that line
I forgot everything I’d accomplished