It’s only been a few months since I began this new phenomenon of my punitive existence, but it has proved more fecund than I initially anticipated. I think all of us who commit to activity such as running, start with a very simple and acrimonious agenda, but as we become more and more inundated with the Bucephalus of that endeavor, the truth (even unbeknownst to us) becomes clear!
For me trail running was something to do because it was new and hip, so to speak. I thought it would be fun and ultimately take me out of my comfort zone, well it did just that and much much more.
We as people scurry quite fixedly about our day, constantly conversing about whats to come, tomorrow, the next day, next week, next year even. We query the time, not to know what is now, but rather to gauge what we can do in the allotted time of day that is left. We treat time as though it were the facet of all that is true and righteous, thusly, we are a slave to the future as the present does not concern us less tragedy befall that moment. What we don’t realize is that the very future that we pine to arrive only so we can forget it, will eventually be the present and just like that (Vroom) it’s gone again!
Trail running doesn’t allow the future to exist without recognition of the present, if you attempt to circumvent the present, the future will know and you will be punished. In my trail running I have learned a few things, “eventually I will get to my final destination so the time doesn’t matter. I do not care where I have to go, my only concern is where I am now. The next step will allow for the steps to follow, without that step, I AM standing still, keep moving! How will feel in 5 miles? Doesn’t matter, how do I feel now matters!”
I hadn’t realized until recently, my psychology on the trail was carrying over in to my psychology off the trail, and it was working. I was treating my days like a trail run, my week like chain of trail runs. Whether in the office or on the trail or even at home, you have good hours and you have bad hours. The good hours, those are easy, no worries there, but the bad hours are the test to what you can accomplish. If I am running Chicot I know I have 22 miles ahead of me, no turn or decision will change that once I go. In those 22 miles there are good hours and there are absolute shit hours. In the 8+ hours I work in a day, the same rules apply. So as cliche as it sounds, it is literally one step at a time.
I didn’t think I was coming to this conclusion. It was not a gradual epiphany, I woke up and I realized it all at once. Trail running has been a major benefit, and quite frankly I am lost without it as of late, I am hoping to regain my trails slowly starting next week I will run 10 at Chicot. I am a bit scared as I do not feel 100% yet despite no pain being present anymore. We shall see what happens. Just keep running!